


the perks of being nothing

by angelica_barnes



Category: The Perks of Being a Wallflower - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Child Abuse, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 11:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15142268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_barnes/pseuds/angelica_barnes
Summary: It starts the day they meet.-“You okay?” Charlie asks. Patrick shrugs.“You?”“No.”





	the perks of being nothing

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this a few weeks ago cause i saw the movie and i felt like they deserved a better ending than they got

**1.**

 

It starts the day they meet.

 

**2.**

 

Patrick’s making fun of the old woodshop teacher again.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Brad watching him and smiles.

Brad looks away.

 

**3.**

 

Three days later they’re in the locker room alone after gym and Patrick walks past Brad, sitting on the bench, and then the latter grasps the former’s fingers and pulls him back.

Brad rests his head on Patrick’s side and Patrick says nothing.

 

**4.**

 

One day, Patrick sees Brad standing in the rain and shivering, watching the road.

“I can give you a ride,” he says, and expects an insult hurled his way, a “Go away, faggot,” but Brad just smiles gratefully.

“Really? Thanks.”

 

**5.**

 

“My dad’s not home,” Brad says when they reach his driveway, turns in his seat to face Patrick and smiles.

“Okay…” Patrick says, and Brad kisses him.

 

**6.**

 

Patrick wakes up and pulls his head out of his arms, craning his neck to stare up at the teacher, who’s staring expectantly.

“Uh, five plus two.”

Brad giggles and Patrick feels his lips quirk up into a smile.

 

**7.**

 

They’re lying side by side on the gym floor and staring up at the ceiling fan. The dance is long over and Sam’s passed out in a chair by the wall; everybody else is gone.

In between them, Patrick inches his fingers towards Brad’s and squeezes.

Brad doesn’t squeeze back.

He doesn’t pull away, either.

 

**8.**

 

In six months they’ll graduate.

“I love you.”

 

**9.**

 

That afternoon, Patrick runs up to Brad after the game and says, breathless, “Hi.”

Brad looks shocked to see him. Patrick’s smile fades.

 

**10.**

 

The night Charlie kisses Sam, Patrick’s not thinking about his sister or her suitors. He’s sitting on the roof, beer in hand, nobody next to him.

 

**11.**

 

Patrick peeks into the English classroom long enough to hear, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

There’s a tap on his shoulder and he turns around, is met with Brad’s smile.

“Hey.”

 

**12.**

 

“Do you love me?” Brad asks his father at dinner one night.

His father doesn’t answer, too caught up in his work to notice his own son.

 

**13.**

 

Patrick’s waiting for him outside the gym.

Brad takes a deep breath, steps outside, and they walk home side by side, hands always brushing but never held.

 

**14.**

 

“You can either call me Patrick or you can call me Nothing.”

“Okay, Nothing.”

He doesn’t believe it then.

 

**15.**

 

Brad smiles at him and kisses Patrick’s chest, just above his heart.

The door slams.

They jump apart and beneath the skin Brad’s lips were just touching is a bruised lump of muscle that Patrick can feel pulsing, pulsing, pulsing.

Red, red, red with blood and the smiles of those who he passes in the hallways.

 

**16.**

 

“Hey, fag.”

Patrick doesn’t look up. Brad does.

Neither says a word.

 

**17.**

 

The belt around his father’s waist looks like a snake to him. Poised to bite at anytime.

Ready to kill.

 

**18.**

 

“I love you,” Patrick whispers, and Brad promises the same words back.

He won’t break it. He won’t.

 

**19.**

 

“Sorry.”

“YOU’RE A FAGGOT!”

“Dad, please -”

Brad’s father slaps him, hard. Patrick races to his side -

 

**20.**

 

“GET OUT OF HERE!”

Patrick runs.

 

**21.**

 

“Maybe he’s just scared,” Sam murmurs.

Patrick stares at the carpet pattern, colors blurring together.

“I know he is.”

 

**22.**

 

The girl kisses Brad’s cheeks and then his mouth and then his bruises.

Patrick slams his locker door and turns his back and walks the other way.

Funny he doesn’t know his boyfriend’s girlfriend’s name.

 

**23.**

 

“You okay?” Charlie asks. Patrick shrugs.

“You?”

“No.”

 

**24.**

 

He misses Charlie. Misses Brad, too, his smile.

 

**25.**

 

“Hey, Nothing!”

Patrick curls into a ball on the floor. He looks up at Brad, staring down at him mournfully, and stands up, fueled only by anger and hurt and maybe, buried under all this pain, maybe love.

“Aren’t you gonna say something?”

Brad says nothing, and that’s when Patrick really becomes so.

 

**26.**

 

He stares in the mirror that night.

“Hey, Nothing.”

He laughs and chokes on the blood running from his broken nose.

 

**27.**

 

“Patrick, I’m sorry.”

“Save it.”

 

**28.**

 

He’s sitting on the steps. Sam comes out, tucks her dress under her, spares him a worried glance and sits down beside him.

Eventually, she bursts, “Aren’t you gonna say something?”

He shrugs. “I’m Nothing, anyway.”

 

**29.**

 

“Thanks for standing up for him,” Brad says to Charlie, and he can see the anger in the boy’s gaze, the fear.

Brad deserves it.

 

**30.**

 

The purple on Patrick’s face is his fault. And it’s not something he can kiss better.

 

**31.**

 

“Patrick.”

“Why are you here?”

“I was waiting for you.”

“Well, I’m not coming.”

 

**32.**

 

“You waited for me.”

Patrick says nothing, doesn’t look up.

Walks away.

 

**33.**

 

Brad climbs out of his window and walks across town and pulls himself into the back of Sam and Patrick’s pick-up truck.

He falls asleep and is shaken awake the next morning by the rumbling of the road beneath his feet.

Patrick’s driving him home.

 

**34.**

 

Patrick is going off to college in seventeen days.

“I love you.”

“No you don’t.”

 

**35.**

 

“Patrick. Patrick. Patrick!”

“I’m Nothing.”

“No you’re not.”

 

**36.**

 

Tomorrow Patrick leaves. Brad’s sitting on his porch when he gets home.

He glares. Brad swallows.

“Just wanted to say goodbye.”

 

**37.**

 

Washington is nice, as far as schools go. The dorm’s comfortable. Patrick likes it here.

It’s… peaceful.

 

**38.**

 

He opens the door to his dorm and there’s Brad, sitting on the empty bed next to Patrick’s.

He looks up when the latter comes in.

Patrick closes the door behind him.

“Why are you here?”

 

**39.**

 

He calls Sam.

“Brad attends my school.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Would you have wanted me to?”

 

**40.**

 

Patrick wakes up at two-thirty in the morning and blinks. Brad’s sitting by the window, staring out. He looks sad.

Patrick swallows.

“I’m Nothing.”

Brad turns his head with a melancholy smile. “You’re everything.”

 

**41.**

 

He calls his father.

“I’m gay. Goodbye.”

He hangs up.

It feels good.

 

**42.**

 

“How did we get here?”

Patrick’s silent, staring up at the ceiling like all those nights ago, and Brad twists in his arms.

“Really. How?”

Patrick says nothing.

 

**43.**

 

There are a thousand days before they graduate.

“I love you.”

They’ve got time.

 

 

 


End file.
